The B-Rate Blog

Originally intrigued by the look of the box art, I thought I should give the 10th Kingdom a shot. Given that you can find this movie/series in any rental store gave the impression that it must be good. The 10th Kingdom was never intended to end up on the B-Rated Blog but after watching 5 minutes of it, I knew it had to be.

In just the first few minutes of The 10th Kingdom, the film feels like a mix of Lassie, Earnest Scare Stupid, and Teen Wolf. Separate not bad movies, but not a very good as a combination, kind of like a hotdog milkshake, yuck.

To be honest, the film couldn't keep me interested for more than 30 minutes. The 10th Kingdom is part of a 3 disk set and disk one is more than 4 hours long! I can't imagine watching all three disks if the first half hour was that bad.

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The movie opens in what is called the 4th Kingdom on a prison scene. The Troll King, seeking to free his imprisoned children, has put on "magic" shoes of invisibility and entered the prison. (I think the rhinestones on the Holland style wooden shoes is what makes it magical.) The prison is easily breached and it's guards dispatched with "Troll Dust" as the King roams it's passages. Upon freeing this freed children, the King happens to hear the enchanting voice of the Evil Queen held captive in the "High Security" wing. Ignoring the signs that pop-out with warnings such as "Stay Out", and "Don't talk to the prisoner!", the Troll King frees the Queen from her cell and begins plotting revenge on her Step-son.

Well, things get really stupid from here. The prince just happens to be doing his annual prison visit and gets turned into a dog by the Queen. The prince runs for it with his tail between his legs and the Queen enlists another inmate, a wolf-man, to hunt the prince. The prince/dog eventually runs into a mirror that leads him, you guessed it, to Central Park in our world.

Things get even worse from here. As the prince comes through the mirror portal and is hit by a girl on a bike on her way to work. The girl takes him to work with her where she notices through the dog writing "Danger!!!" in flour some spilt that he is no normal dog.

The Trolls and the Wolf-Man follow the prince and begin causing trouble and generally acting like rejects from a teletubbies episode. The name The 10th Kingdom comes from the fact that NY is not part of the known 9 kingdoms and thus is name The 10th Kingdom by the Trolls.

If your looking for something to watch, I don't recommend The 10th Kingdom. Save yourself a couple of bucks and turn on Barney, you'll get the same lasting enjoyment as you would from this movie.

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